I've developed a disturbing trend. Its disturbing because of what I spent so much of my life doing, that being, a soldier. One takes up the uniform and weapon of America's army because one is called to it and stays over 20 years and retires because they are duty bound to do it. You stay because you accept the burden of protecting all of the peoples and all of the lands and of course the sanctity of the Constitution. Its nearly religious in its depth and energy. When you retire from the military a loss of this central purpose is one of the problems you must overcome.
I think I'm over that loss of purpose. Now, I'm trying hard to not feel like I wasted all those years of my life.
What has become of this country? I don't recognize it anymore. The America of my youth seems like something from a dream, like it never happened or could happen. I have no sense of kinship with anyone outside my home state. I look with general disgust at the rest of the country. I would no more shed blood on behalf of someone in New York then I'd get a root canal with no pain killers. We no longer share any connection. What do I have in common with someone from California other then our living in America? Shared experiences you might say, but no, not even those exist. Someone from Oregon is as alien to me as someone from Croatia.
On second thought, I defended my family all those years. That will just have to do I guess because what else could I do.